maybe we will be keychains on the same key ring in the next life
Ugh, all these amateurs doing Major-General’s Song parodies about millennials with inexact rhymes!!! This is how you do it:
MILLENNIAL:
I am the very model of a modern, gay millennial,
I’ve information useless and anxiety perennial,
I’m treated with suspicion when I’m not outright infantilized
And miffed at how the internet is ever more mercantilized.
I fret about the dangers of calamity climatical,
And get my hands on media in manner most piratical,
I’m practiced in the art of homosexual effrontery—
Effrontery, effrontery, let’s see…yes!
And often made ecstatic by an older woman’s cuntery!
CHORUS:
And often made ecstatic by an older woman’s cuntery,
And often made ecstatic by an older woman’s cuntery!
And often made ecstatic by an older woman’s cunter-unter-y!
MILLENNIAL:
Then I can write a catalogue of epithets Homerical,
And have a handsome person get me nakedly hysterical—
I likely won’t survive to see the U.S. tricentennial,
For I’m the very model of a modern, gay millennial!
CHORUS:
There’s very little chance he’ll see the U.S. tricentennial,
The country won’t last long enough, and he’s a gay millennial!
im just someones weird sister
one of my professors, a historian who has been interviewed as an expert in various documentaries, said that the secret to documentaries is saying something very obvious, as slowly as possible. for example, if you say “the romans…….. enjoyed their dinner parties” or "being a gladiator... was... very... dangerous" then the filmmakers can get that clip and immediately pan over some cool pictures of mosaics or something. this has forever changed the way i view documentaries
my penis image collection
Shelley Duvall, 1973.
fireball whiskey can be put in milk to make FIRE MILK
eat some protein if you are feeling FATIGUED
visit garage sales if you want to find DEALS ON BELT SANDERS
what we'll learn next week is still shrouded in darkness
folding a fitted sheet
somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
We are adopting this.
i keep thinking about the "and love" qoute. that's literally the plot of my little pony dude
the lady regent, called Aconite Needle for her habit of using poison as a first resort, is interrupted in the thirty-third year of her disastrous interregnum by the return of her country's fated ruler. on the one hand, good; saves her from kneeling for the headsman the next time the riffraff gets temperamental. on the other hand, she's not exactly keen to give up her throne. there's also this to consider: she's never fucked a woman king before. the life of the sovereign is full of these little calculations.
